I jumped onto facebook and wasted a few moments just having a look. It was raining outside and staying in bed was looking to be a great option.
This meme grabbed my attention and I screenshot it. Not really knowing why, but it seemed wise and a picture of the kind of gal I wish to be.
Minutes later I responded to a question in a faith group I’m a part of.
Before I knew it, someone had totally misunderstood my heart and had responded heavily.
I in turn felt upset, angry, saddened by it all….I instantly tried to clarify my heart, which ended up quite a mess.
Yes, I’d communicated well-but ultimately no one really won in this.
What was it inside of me that needed for her to understand?
After journaling it out with God, I now know.
Feeling a sense of defilement, I went to today’s bible reading. Aaahh…the word, is there any better place to land.
It was at this point God reminded me of the screenshot of that morning….
Was I being taught something in this?
Was it painful?
Did I wish I’d remained silent?
Yes, to escape pain.
What was God teaching me through this situation?
Soooo much. Here are just a few.
*I don’t always have to respond. There are times to allow God to defend and clarify things on my behalf.
*Whatever is being triggered in me, I need to be willing to respond to what needs some work in me, rather than carry the offense of another artwork in the making.
*What we say can be interpreted by others through a lens that is different than our own. No one but God can fully understand my heart, because each of us look at others hearts through our own lens. Broken lenses, upbringing lenses, experiential lenses, seasonal lenses, expectation lenses and so many more.
*I am called to love, despite what comes….How will I love this woman of His moving forward? Are there boundaries that need to be put in place in the future? How can I be free to be fearlessly me? Godly restoration of my identity through circumstances like these.
*Learning to be stronger and ok with others who challenge or criticise.
*Learning to take ownership of the words I release. (In this moment I’d been feeling a little fragile and because we’re away- daily routines had gone astray- including dedicated time with God!) Hence I probably reacted more emotionally than I might’ve had I been walking aware of Him.
*Jesus, wholly pure and sin free, accused by others…and yet didn’t defend himself in the moment where He had every right to.
How do I become more like Jesus in this Father?
So much to learn and grow through it all.
This fingerprint moment has been confronting but I know will be a rich one in the long run.
God is constantly communicating with us.
The real question is…am I paying attention to what and how He is speaking?
P.S. And if I find myself in a similar situation, maybe I’ll be more gracious, less emotion driven. Maybe I’ll ask Him how He wants me to respond. Oh Lord, yes please!!!