A couple of Sunday’s ago, I was weak and frail……I had just gotten back from a holiday and received some bad news about my precious brother. He was in a very bad state and this was weighing heavily upon my heart. In worship, I found myself a blubbering mess of tears, as we as a family of God lifted Him higher than our circumstances.
I found myself feeling a gamut of emotions, mostly grief….but God understood why. I felt compelled to give it all in worship.Like my brother’s circumstance and mental state would shift if I left it all at the foot of the cross….Have you ever had a time where you just didn’t care anymore? Like the struggle was worth the mess?
As I slumped down in my chair having given what little energy I had, all in worship, the music continued to move me. I wanted to a be part of what God was doing. I didn’t want to be a victim of my weakness, but wanted to continue worshipping in victory, not in exhaustion. So I quietly whispered in my heart,
“Father, I don’t have any strength left. Be my strength for me?”
It wasn’t a complicated prayer, but it was heartfelt.
Moments later I stood again, but this time something felt better within me. I no longer felt the depth of heaviness a load often brings. I felt like worshipping my God, honouring Him above all else, was the very thing that I needed to do in that moment.
So as I stood singing my heart out, dancing in my heart of hearts, I celebrated for everything that He was bringing in that moment. What a JOY! What a great DELIGHT to His and my own heart! What a privilege to worship the beautiful creator of this universe who cares about my family and I!
An hour later, we were eating lunch at church having a lovely time, when a friend of mine approached me to “check in”. She stood there a moment just staring in my direction. She asked me how I was going?
Before I could really answer, she began saying “Cause you look good! You look really good! You actually look strong!” She made this comment a number of times in our short conversation and kept glaring at me intently. Did I really look awful most of the other times?? lol…..She was seeing something that I didn’t in fact feel that morning…..but as I reflected, didn’t feel in that moment.
It was only afterwards that I realised what was going on. The very thing I needed on that day, the very thing I had asked God for…..He had given to me in bucketloads! This in turn brought about a sense of praise within and continues to WOW me, at the simplicity of my question and the kindness of a God who wanted to lavish good gifts upon me.
Graham Cooke said in a conference recently, that “a double portion is the smallest investment God makes in us.” I love that, not just because it’s a biblical principle, but it is also my testimony!
What do you need today?
What part of God’s good nature do you need more of in this moment?
What circumstance is looking to overtake you, all the while God is saying –
“I am here to help you crush that circumstance and springboard you into greater revelation of who I am for you in this!!!!!”
Matthew 7:7
Ask and it will be given to you;
seek you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
